If you’ve noticed the stream of funding news at the start of these letters tapering down to a trickle, well, that would be correct. As folks start coming around to the idea that a multiyear pandemic killing millions was not good for the economy, long term, markets everywhere are cooling. Great news if you’ve been waiting to buy something in euros, terrible news if you are on the side trying to get money. VC firm MATH Venture Partners just announced it’s not even going to bother trying to raise a new round of funding to invest back in startups, so scarce is the money.
Some businesses are still raising, certainly. Like NutriSense, a healthtech startup that uses wearables and glucose monitors to give people personalized dietician advice via app. Dieting, but make it data? And potentially a way to prevent diabetes? Yeah, investors are going to jump to put $25 million into that.
Other startups also pulled in funds, if not quite as much. Logiwa raised $16.4 million in the logistics-adjacent space of helping mass shippers get warehouses full of inventory straight to customers, while APFusion raised $6.9 million to help turn salvage yards into used-car-part warehouses. Quicklly (not our spelling) is looking to move groceries, particularly South Asian groceries, and has raised another $4 million to help people get Indian staple foods quickly. With the money, plus a new partnership with Instacart, Quicklly has big plans to expand outside of San Francisco and Chicago, its only two delivery zones currently.
And while VC firms might be slower to hand out money, Google is happy to keep “investing” a tiny fraction of its profits back into startups that can make it look good. Five Latine-founded Chicago startups will be getting $100,0000 as part of Google’s $5 million Google for Startups Latino Founders Fund. The money comes with free therapy, presumably to talk through the complex feelings around deserving a real funding round, but only getting a token.
Take solace instead in the cruelly delightful visual that is all of these pasty Midwestern businessmen moving to Miami. Notoriously uptight law firm Sidley Austin is the latest to announce a Miami office — the announcement being somewhat unnecessary, since we already know the best-paid people in the state are making the move. Do we think they’re going to go with an Angus Young-style short-suit? Or like a Chris Evans vest-no-jacket? Either way, we feel comfortable officially calling it. Miami? No longer for the rich and beautiful.
Nashville, meanwhile, is preparing to welcome the empire formerly known as Family Video. Today it’s about a dozen employees, a dozen more family members, a real estate portfolio of former video rental stores and a few Marco’s Pizza franchises. Hope you can handle all the growth Nashville, it’s sure to be a rocketship.
VHT Studios — familiar to Redfin trawlers as the provider of house photos straight out of the uncanny valley — isn’t moving to sunnier pastures, but it is being bought by California firm Matterport, maker of the virtual walkthroughs home sellers relied on during COVID. VHT Studios will keep its Rosemont office, and all of its employees, in the transition.
Electric truck maker Rivian is not keeping all its folks, though it’s unclear as of now if the hundreds of planned layoffs will hit the Chicago factories.
There are others looking to offer jobs in the city, if it does go down. Target is planning two new warehouses — one near Midway, one in Elmhurst. Let’s hope these go off better than the Little Village warehouse, which covered the neighborhood in pollution before a single truck pulled into the parking lot.
San Francisco-based banking startup Chime is opening an office for its 200 Chicago employees, after years of growing the team remotely. To which we can only ask, uh, why?
At least Ferrero opening up an office makes sense. People need to physically be there to test the candies, and it’s probably not that hard to get them to the office. Any Willy Wonka-raised person would jump at the chance to work in a candy innovation center, though it’s unclear how many, if any, of the jobs will be net new.
Jobs, Glorious Jobs
U.S. Media Manager for Cookies at Ferrero
It may not be in the innovation center, but it is in cookies. The ad doesn’t specify, but guessing you’d be in charge of media action around Keebler, Famous Amos and other cookie brands Ferrero bought from Kellogg in 2019.
Writing Design Director at IDEO
Pros: IDEO is a well-paid, well-respected design shop that ostentatiously mentions its “North American Rest Week” in the top of its job ad. Sorry, we won’t get back to you rapidly because we are just too concerned with work-life balance!
Cons: Kinda abusive, kinda traumatic and very into bullying you into believing you’re the one lucky enough to work for such an impressive organization — particularly if you are not a white man. IDEO promises it’s on a “transformational journey,” but maybe get the details on what that means in real life before accepting what could otherwise be a great job and resume builder.
Marketing Coordinator at CB2
We’ll be excited for you even though we’re disappointed to learn our beloved CB2 uses Microsoft Office.
Inspiration of the week
“If we’re going to talk about the downfall of my ambition, I think it really was rooted to a point where I was like, ‘Hey, I like where I am right now. I don’t need to go anywhere else,’ and that’s pretty much it.”
—Aspirational slacker Sona Movsesian, on how she’s turned being the worst possible assistant into a viable, fulfilling job. True, probably easier to get away with shirking duties when your boss — in Sona’s case Conan O’Brien — can turn your lack of work ethic into winning comedy bits. But the insight is universal. If you like what you’re doing, why feel the need to do anything else?
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