Tears in our company-sponsored beers

Love to see that year-end push to spend everything! Threekit raised $20 million to support its extremely relatable and depressing story — the founder took the visual effects skills he honed on cool movies and applied them to making 3D and AR renderings of company products. Late-capitalism! Maybe it’s bad!

DataCubes raised $15.2 million to grow out its platform, which purports to use AI, but probably just uses some algorithms, to qualify how risky businesses applying for insurance are. The company plans to hire 50 people with the money, but it is in Schaumburg, but it does have a Chicago office you can work from.

TBH we don’t talk enough about what a work of art Ursula’s animated tits are.

2nd Kitchen raised $4.35 million to provide food to more food-less businesses, like bars and breweries and hospitals. This “ghost kitchen” model is pretty soulless in our opinion, but no doubt popular when you’re drunk and the tamale man is nowhere in site. 

Legal software maker Relativity is looking to hire 200 people — mostly devs, but a few sales, support and marketing roles as well — as is user experience software maker Qualtrics, which will be filling a new Chicago office separate from parent company SAP. Meanwhile, Gotham Greens is hiring another 60 people to grow its indoor produce, a job that may not pay great, but that does make up for it with the benefit of being in a tropics-simulating greenhouse all day during the winter. 

That is the end of the good news, so if you’re thinking, it’s Friday! Fuck off with your bad news! Well, skip ahead to that subscribe button and maybe skip the inspiration too? Whatever we’re not your boss. Also not your boss, Michael Ferro! We can personally attest that this noted bad man is, indeed, very bad. He’s actually why we started this letter, to help fewer people accidentally work for Snout-faced McGrabsaLots.

And yet, his selling his controlling interest in Tribune Publishing is actually a bad thing, because he’s selling it to a private equity firm, Alden Capital, known for cutting costs at, well, all costs. This as the Trib has already announced a plan to shutter Spanish-language newspaper Hoy. Truly what a fucking world when the dude who made you second guess every outfit you wore to work for two years is the lesser of two evils.

Also on the trash train: Sears, which is cutting another 300 corporate jobs, some in Hoffman Estates, and weed purveyors Medmen, which is cutting 190 jobs company-wide, despite plans to add headshop headcount in Chicago (no, we’re not sorry). Bet that this will be the first of many layoffs in an industry that still feels like it’s never heard the word bubble.

Okay back to fun stuff: Not a subscriber? You missed not one, but two GIFs about food this month. And a lot of business news you can actually use.

Job with badass potential
Communications Associate at Chicago Votes
Work: Manage social media, content creation, marketing materials and influencer efforts. Run PR, media relations and media training. This is a full-time, permanent position doing the lord’s work at an awesome grassroots organization.
Downsides: Jesus, that's a lot of responsibilities. You should have a higher title. Fight for it.
Perks: Gain a ton of marketing experience and access to some of the city's most progressive and creative minds. And hopefully save democracy along the way.

A few other jobs we’re curious about …
Digital Creative Director, Email and Retention Marketing Manager, Product/Editorial Photographer, Manager of Paid Social and Search at Monica + Andy
The maker of adorbs organic baby clothes is hiring like crazy at its Lincoln Park HQ (even more jobs here), likely in connection with $6.5 million in equity financing. M+A (lol) offers progressive family-friendly benefits like college savings plans and pet insurance and prescription plans. No word on the maternity policy, though. Interesting fact: Monica's brother Andy is the founder of Bonobos, which was acquired by Wal-Mart for $310 million. Mmm, sleep on it and see how you feel in the morning. 

Social Media Marketing Manager for a cannabis startup via The Mom Project
We don't often post part-time opportunities here, but this was too fun not to share with our freelancing friends: The Mom Project, a jobs platform for moms, is looking for a 10-hour social pro for a client that's launching a cannabis incubator community Jan. 1, don't you know. Stoner moms unite.

Tool of the week: 
40 good interview questions courtesy of venture capital firm First Round. All good ones to have in your pocket, prep for and turn back on interviewers.

Inspiration of the week

@prettyawful, the new Instagram account from our pal Emily at LimeRed Studio. Looking to let go of a few things, Emily started the account to take the worst things people say and make them into something beautiful. If you have some words weighing you down, DM them and she’ll turn them into something that lives outside of your brain.

Forward this email to anyone who’s been told some shit. They can sign up here and get bi-monthly reminders not to shout it down.

Got a tip on an excellent job? Reply to this email, send us a new one at hey@gethustl.in, or reach out on Twitter.