|Get Hustlin'||Apr 3|
This absolutely fucking sucks.
Even if you have all the advantages in the world, every single day feels like that scene in the movie where they’re walking into the basement and you don’t know what they’re going to find but you know it’s not gonna be great!
We don’t want to wake up and we cannot go to sleep.
As Professional People, and, personally, as Professional Women, we are conditioned to just. keep. going, no matter what. Bad boss? Let’s manage up while seeing if we can earn the attention of the boss’s boss. Got fired? How do we flip that narrative to get a better job? Did your boss just brush up against you? Better to assume he was reaching for the creamer and get on with your day!
We are peddlers of this ethic, champions of it. If this is what life is then we will find exactly the right series of contortions and compromises to extract as much out of it for us and ours as possible.
But y’all, we don’t want to hustle anymore.
We want to sit right here and appreciate that this sucks. No caveats, no “well, it could be worse,” no. It just fucking sucks, and we have so much left to go.
If you want to use this time to move your career forward, we commend you and we will support you. But if your head feels like it’s filled with bees and the most complicated problem you can solve is whether today’s video callers saw you in this sweater yesterday, that is perfect. You don’t actually need to do your best when the world is at its worst. You just need to find whatever comfort you can to get you to the next day.
There’s still so much job news, and if you only want to hear the good stuff, skip past the second weeping Sandra Oh gif in this newsletter.
Here’s a handy little graph of what that actually looks like, which will break your brain.
If this is the regular news, does that make us the optimists? Because these clothes don’t fit at all. Look, it’s a shitshow. Even the weed business is having to call off its mergers, and those assholes have seemingly endless access to capital. And now we can’t even eat our feelings, because McDonald’s is calling off all-day breakfast.
The only upside is that we’re all fucked together. And if we stay together, maybe we can actually change some of the big, structural scams ruining our lives.
There are still businesses benefiting, which means, in turn, there are still businesses hiring. Mondelez is glad to see you give up your healthy snacking habits in favor of Oreos and despair. Since Mondelez sells both of those things, it’s hiring, and it’s paying manufacturing, distribution and sales staff a $2/hour bonus through May.
Walgreens and CVS are both hiring as well, and offering some form of bonus to the staffers still working during Coronavirus. Though based on how some people are behaving, there may not be enough money in the world. Now is not the time to Karen.
Do312 put together a pretty comprehensive list of who’s hiring now especially if you or a friend are looking for a temp job, part-time work or are willing to be a hero delivery driver.
And here are some of the full-time jobs we typically talk about in this email. Some industries are less affected by the COVID chaos, and some are busier than ever. These brand-new jobs are based in Chicago, but we have to think more companies will embrace remote life now that even your dad knows what Zoom-bombing is.
Sort those LinkedIn Jobs by most recent if you’re up for the hunt.
Director of Development, Engagement Editor and Foundation and Corporate Relations Grant Writer at the Better Government Association
The BGA is a good organization. No great pay to match the great responsibilities, sure, but it’s also a place where you can hold people responsible. And with $2 trillion trickling down at the very least over the next several months, it’s a good time for someone with sharp eyes to be watching.
Vice President of Corporate Communications, Corporate Social Responsibility Director, Retail Marketing Director and Ecommerce Director at Green Thumb Industries
Cannabis may be calling off big mergers, but it ain’t broke yet.
Marketing Content Manager at the American Bar Association
Lots to talk about in law and it may actually get interesting.
Director of Communications & Change Management at Cushman & Wakefield
We have thoughts about commercial real estate right now, and this job title ensures that C&W does too.
Creative Director at Banner
Lead the creative team at the video content studio. This looks to be a good one, and not just because 200+ people have applied in 2 days.
Inspiration of the week
Are you, like us, craving a situation where you’re totally, 100% in control? Like a quiz where you already know all the answers? Good, then fill out your census. Because there’s something real nice about screaming “No, you pay attention to me, motherfucker!” at the government. Proverbially speaking of course.
Forward this email to anyone who’s ready to be counted. They can sign up here to stand with a few hundred others.