Bless the big firms, for they will never learn. Top law firm Kirkland & Ellis is looking to finalize a 600,000-square-foot lease in the new Salesforce Tower, apparently deciding that all 700-odd Chicago lawyers are simply clamoring to return to offices. Love the confidence! Just not sure it’s well-placed.
Money is just looking for ways to cut loose right now, apparently. It’s like some sort of capitalism rumspringa, with everyone going wild before the variants pump the brakes. Funding rounds have been popping off the past two weeks: Nature’s Fynd raised $350 million to bring its vegan patties and spreads to market — hopefully by 2022. It’s a lot of money for a bit of geothermal fungi whipped up into foods no one’s really tried yet, but we’re never against more meat-free options. Plus we just love the symmetry of pumping out vegan food from the Union Stockyards. Jobs and irony? It’s really too much.
We’re having a lot less fun with risk-management software company LogicGate raising $113 million. We’re not really clear on what “risk-management software” is or does, and the company hasn’t said what it plans to do with the money, but you know, good for them we guess.
At least it doesn’t actively annoy us, like Veo raising $16 million for more electric scooters and bikes. It’s not that the idea is bad necessarily, and we appreciate the company looking to make long-lasting products and customize programs to the cities it’s in. It’s just that the people who ride them (and people generally) are inconsiderate monsters.
Paro’s also going to get an eyebrow raise, picking up $25 million for its platform connecting companies to freelance finance talent. Seeing the freelancification of every single job is unsettling, especially the idea of fully outsourcing your financial department. Paro promises it’ll work thanks to the company’s unique AI matching system, but, uh, how many times have we heard that?
It’s only the plants we can count on. Rise has raised $9 million (lol) for its lil’ easy-grow devices. The hydroponic systems look cute, and definitely will only be used to grow virtuous salad greens.
For the companies not closing funding rounds, there’s always IPOs to raise money by hook or by … crook. Like insurance company Kin and 3D printing company Fast Radius, both of which officially announced their decisions to go public via SPACs this week. All of the IPO with none of the oversight! We wrote a little bit about Kin’s plans to go public when they were first announced and … checks notes … yup it’s still dumb! Kin’s CEO freely says that the $242 million the company will raise in the SPAC deal is “more than enough” to fund growth. Why? Why would you want more than enough? You are, theoretically, raising that money against future earnings.
It’s meant to be paid back.
Opportunity Financial is also going public via a SPAC, though it hasn’t earned quite the same level of attention. The company offers loans to those “traditionally excluded” from lending, no doubt through the goodness of its own heart. We love to see a financial product packaged into a financial product and sold as a financial product. Absolutely nothing wrong here.
Recently SPACed Alight — the HR benefits software company formerly owned by Aon — is thriving after officially going public in early July. It just won a massive federal contract to handle retirement benefits for government workers, and is actively recruiting new hires. Easier said than done when you’re based in Lincolnshire though.
Portillo’s hasn’t gotten the cool-kid memo about SPACs, and plans to go public the old-fashioned way, with an IPO. If you’ve ever seen a Portillo’s drive-thru lane, you know that stock is probably a safe bet. Plus there’s going to be at least a few chocolate cake enthusiasts purchasing shares for the sheer novelty of it.
Even Cards Against Humanity is looking at a potential sale, probably because the juvenile owners realized running a company isn’t all that fun, particularly when you get called out on your toxic work environment. It’s looking for around $500 million if it does sell.
Retail Properties of America, Oak Brook-based owner of several open-air malls, has already announced its sale to Indianapolis-based Kite Realty Group, likely preceding a reduction in staff jobs here. The merger will create the largest mall owner, at $7.5 billion. And if you, like us, are thinking, “Wow, ballsy to double down on malls right now,” just know that’s only part of the plan. The press release explicitly mentions malls’ roles as last-mile fulfillment centers, there for all your curbside pickup needs.
Foxtrot is another retail bright spot, thanks to its hybrid model of in-store sales and online orders. It plans to open up 10 new locations in Chicago, and another 40 throughout the country over the next two years. The footprint expansion comes with a staff expansion, somewhere around 150 by the end of the year if things go according to plan.
For once, we bring you a newsletter with no mention of a new Amazon warehouse … just a new assembly plant from Amazon-backed electric vehicle maker Rivian. Totally different! The company hasn’t yet announced where this second plant will be located. No no, it would like states to start the wooing process. But the first assembly plant, located downstate in Normal, is already pushing back production plans due to parts shortages. So yeah, def start that bidding war states. What could go wrong?
Jobs, Glorious Jobs
Marketing Manager, Ecommerce Manager and Digital Content Creator at Lana Jewelry
If hoops worn by Megan Thee Stallion sound like the kind of widget you want to sell, the Chicago fine jewelry brand is dripping with opportunities atm.
Editor, Brand Studio, Associate Editor, News and News Reporter at Built In Chicago
Whether you're committed to journalism (bless) or want to take your skills to the paid side, a reminder that Built In has raised $30 million to date. These have remote options, too, because technology.
Manager of Communications at Levy Restaurants
Don’t let “restaurants” scare you — sure, Levy owns Jake Melnick’s, but it also runs the food service at 200 venues and is backed by a multibillion-dollar parent company. Seems safer, and it's not an uninteresting time in hospitality.
Inspiration of the week
Not forcing it, even when people expect you to.
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