Find new friends 👯🔪
I don't think some of these people like women!
I was a lonely child and I’m a weird adult — if you give me three points on a wall, I’m going to find the face and make a story. Narrative is how I self soothe.
But buddy, I have looked at every story coming out of this election, and they are tired. Democrats fumble the ball. Bullies are boring. When they say “C’mon, it’s just a joke,” they actually mean it. We learned these lessons when we could still hang upside down from the monkey bars. I am not interested in revisiting the motivations. If you would hurt people with the same glee that an eight-year-old brings to a slice of cake, you don’t get a backstory.
Things are bad, they’re going to get worse. Mutual aid is the only way forward, but I also want to irritate fascists. I started this newsletter in 2015 to do two things:
Get money
Fight losers
Both can help us protect each other from what’s coming. Audre Lorde is (always) right, the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. But maybe they can crank the thermostat and leave crumbs in the bed. Use your money to make billionaires uncomfortable. Leech away their profits. If you work for them, add the guacamole to every expensed burrito. Use their printers to make fliers for community actions. Give them only what they pay for — no extra time, no extra value. I know it feels good to do a good job. This is what a good job looks like when your boss would trade your personhood for a tax break. Be expensive and indolent for the greater good.
Then, take some time to get real clear on who is covered by that “we.” If 53% of the people you’re fighting with vote against you, find some new friends.
I personally only want to stand beside the people who act in my best interests, not just the people who share them. Let those folks find out what the leopards eating faces party is all about.
For everybody else? Weaponize curiosity. Confrontation is dangerous. Questions are fun.
“Oh my god, did you storm the capitol?”
“F/M/K, Supreme Court justices.”
“Hold on, did a fake trans person touch you in the bathroom?”
“Aren’t you worried about what happens if you miscarry?”
“How did your immigrant friends react when you told them you voted for Trump?”
“Wait, do you really think there are no immigrants in your life?”
Make it weird friends. Interrupt foreplay to ask if they’ve ever offered to drive someone to their abortion. Put that practice feigning interest in someone else’s monologue to good use. Treat it like an intrusive thought, because if you can get them to play out what they’re thinking, they will realize how unhinged it sounds. Or they won’t, but you’ll have a little giggle.
And one last thing: embrace cringe. Nothing is embarrassing when everything is on fire. Have wild hopes. Admit that you think you can make this shitty world just a little bit better. My god, this is a newsletter. You can make literally anything if you’ll feel better after.
I don’t know what shape this is going to take going forward. I just know CEOs are having a great week, and they don’t get to have fun without me. We don’t have power, but we do have disdain.
I await your interpretive dance routine.